Not all weeks are made equal

Anyone that knows me will tell you that i am probably the most laid back and easy going person you are ever likely to meet. While others are panicking as all hell is breaking loose around us, i am usually sauntering at my own pace, as cool as a cucumber, comfortable and confident that everything is fine and there's nothing at all to worry about.

I won't lie, sometimes this intensifies the stress in others. Maybe they feel they have to do the worrying for 2 due to my relaxed nature. Maybe anger and frustration is added to their worry as they feel i am not pulling my weight in the worry stakes. All i know is that far more often than not, my laid back approach is proved correct and everything in fact does turn out OK.

Heading to the airport to catch a flight is a prime example and one that my friends and colleagues and I often share when talking about my laid back nature. My travelling companions would rather get to the airport, relaxed, with hours to spare before their flight, maybe grab a bite to eat and then sit and wait. I'm not the sort of person that likes to sit around and wait (well, outwith the comfort of my own home that is). I also find airport waiting lounges uncomfortable, stuffy and boring unless you intend to shop.

While they are looking to get there as early as possible, I tend to look at the time that boarding is closing and calculate the last possible second i can leave to still make it on time. Flight delays are often the cause of anger and frustration for travellers however on a few occasions, they've got my out of jail when i cut it that little bit too fine.

OK, i have missed a couple of flights in my time, usually through no fault of my own (or so i insist) and on another day, under different circumstances, i'd have made it comfortably (well, my comfort level that is). Instead of causing me stress, they alleviated it. But as a semi-regular flyer, would i trade the elevated stress on those few occasions coupled with complete ease every other time, for the approach of others which is stressing every time? Not on your life.

But this week, i have discovered the peak of my neurotic side.

We are now officially 1 week overdue and it's probably been the longest week of my life. Take the excitement and anticipation of a child on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to come, or on a long journey to Disneyland filled with the incessant 'are we nearly there yet?' questions. Add in the intense nerves like those experienced before your driving test or the panic as you race to the boarding gate 1 minute before the gate closes to make your flight.

Roll them all up into a huge ball and hit yourself right in the face with them. Then, in a cruel twist of fate, have that intense feeling carry on, non-stop for an entire week and counting. It's not pleasant, my laid back nature is not used to it and it's here to stay, for now at least.

Don't get me wrong, my neurosis has been showing it's face since probably just before the first scan and has kept popping up with each and every new symptom, movement and experience during S's pregnancy but it has been intermittent in nature, until now. Now, it's all encompassing as what is likely to be the greatest moment of my life has been delayed.

'Baby is having a hiccup episode.'

'My bump is very itchy.'

'Baby is bulging out to one side.'

'My belly button is popping out more.'

Major new moments throughout the journey have sent me to Google to search and absorb as much information as i can. Now, it's EVERY little change or difference as this new obsessive side of my personality takes hold. I swear, somebody needs to take every single page of baby advice from the internet, rip it up and start again, removing all the fear mongering that most of the pages possess.

I'm sure if i did a search for the most innocent and magical moment like 'woo, my baby just kicked for the first time', the first page i clicked on, within a paragraph or 2 would ask 'are you sure it was a kick?' before going on to list all possible crazy complications that your innocent search could mean.

They say the internet can be a scary place. None more so than when you are looking for the simple reassurance that you are never likely to find. Look away, it'll all be OK.

So here we are. 7 days overdue and counting. Still waiting, still neurotic and still frustrated. Just like many of the flights I have taken over the years, we are delayed, and we are waiting.

Hopefully there is an announcement soon with an updated expected time of arrival.